Doin' Well

Finally a post to say I am doing well. Breathing better, on a new chemo that is hopefully kicking cancer butt, and eating more.
 A bit of drama this month in the House of Rootsey, but we are all staying tight. (whatever that means, it sounds cool, right) Kiddos, minus one back to school and doing well, I think. Oldest kid, sleeping a lot, but starts college classes soon. That will be interesting.

Me=Tired of feeling down. Trying to always look up.

Well, I had another prayer time that I was hesitant to write about. I did not know how to phrase it.
Just going to ramble and hopefully make a point.

I was in the shower having some prayer time. A bit overwhelmed. I have been studying (listening to on Audible)1st and 2nd Samuel and a bit of 1 Kings. There's an awful lot of tough stuff to understand. I'll admit, it's hard to make sense of. All of the death and judgement, sacrifices and warfare. Heavy stuff.
During prayer, I felt so overwhelmed and discouraged. I was thinking God was pretty mean and angry.

I think it was not too long after the shooting in Colorado. I didn't know how to pray. Just tears. Emotions were a little piled up.
God can be so hard to understand, but then the Lord's rebuke to Job came to mind.
  “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand".
Nope, don't understand.
I stopped whining. Well, I stopped whining for a bit.
But, "I am The Lord's beloved, so why so much struggling?Whaa-whaa".
Then a "Shush", (seriously, am I weird? These conversations happen in my shower!)

 I starting thinking about what I would look like standing before him. Humble, meek, but healthy and restored. Then I started to see a crown, and picturing it beautiful and sparkling. I thought,
 "How awesome to stand before you, Savior, with this crown and be able to take it off and place it at your feet. You deserve a much larger crown, Lord. Let me lay a bigger one down."
No answer, just a feeling that I need to think about what He laid down for me.
For a moment, just a moment, I thought, "I really would love to lay a bigger crown at your feet", "but wait, wait, I don't think I can go any bigger...forget I said that, God., this one is a good."
  My Grace is sufficient, My Grace is sufficient.
That's all that went through my mind. Whatever the size of my crown, or the length of this trial,or
questions I have about His judgement, He is sufficient, and He is always just, and He is Oh so mighty.
I still have doubts, fear, and questions, but I also know that promise is true.
His sufficiency.
I'm trying to wind this up poetically, or make a big point.
It's not coming to me, so I will just end it with this bit of Scripture

Job 42 Then Job replied to the Lord: 2 “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.



Good night. I will try to remember what I have learned. PLease let me know what you think of my ramblings. Good or bad. It's all good. Here's a cute video for you, just to lighten things up.

Love, Joann